38 Things…

about me.

1)  I have ugly feet.  Flat with nasty bunions.  Thus I rarely wear fancy shoes, and only own about a half dozen sensible shoes.  It’s good for my pocketbook, but makes it hard to put together a stylish look.  But I do love to paint my toe nails, at least they can be pretty.

2)  I can probably count the number of mani-pedis I’ve had on one hand.  Just a couple times for special occasions.

3)  My favorite childhood books were Where the Red Fern Grows, Lisa Bright and Dark, A Wrinkle in Time.  And another pair of books about a girl who goes blind in her early teens and gets a guide dog, but I forget the titles.

4)  Our family dog when I was little was a fat beagle named Tessie.  My dad built her a deluxe dog house, complete with shingles that matched the house, a window, porch and wall-to-wall carpeting.  I, however, tried to make her drag her old butt through a hula hoop while playing circus.

5)  I was held up at gunpoint in college.  When the young perpetrator pulled out his weapon and asked for our money (I was with a friend), I immediately said “We don’t have any money, we just bought dinner,” and kept walking.  Unfortunately my friend stopped.  He got about $15 and we spent the next 3 hours sitting around in the police station.

6)  I dated a paucity of men before meeting my husband.  My experience with men was probably equal to Sarah Palin’s knowledge of foreign policy.

7)  I am the only one of my siblings to go away to college.

8)  I never rode an airplane until I was in my 20s.

9)  Every university I went to was in a ghetto bad neighborhood in Philadelphia.

10)  I love riding trains.

11)  I don’t like the smell of subways.

12)  I worked as a copy editor for a big New York city newspaper for a summer in college, while living in Mineola.  Thus I am a stickler for format and such.  The lead must be in the first paragraph!  Don’t bury the lead!  (and I had to go back and be sure there were 2 spaces after each parentheses in this post)

13)  I love a pretty room, and can’t wait until I have some.

14)  I’m a recovering perfectionist.

15)  I love being the mom to boys, but hate playing cars and trucks.  I will be equally loathe to play Barbie.

16)  I played lacrosse in high school … until I got cut in junior year.

17)  One of my favorite things to do in veterinary school was going to lunch time pathology rounds.  This was when we’d go look at the diseased insides of animals right after scarfing down our sandwich.

18)  Sarcasm is how my family shows love.

19)  My oldest brother changed my diapers.

20)  I’m not sure, but I might have broken a boy’s arm in middle school.  He used to torment me on the bus.  One Friday I retaliated and grabbed his arm and twisted it around.  Monday he had a cast.

21)  I stole a pair of sunglasses from the drug store I worked at in high school.

22)  I have probably watched The Terminator more than 50 times.

23)  I tried out for the school play every year in high school, but never made it.  (my 20 year reunion is coming up, can you tell?)

24)  I was in the best physical shape of my life during undergrad.  Sadly those days are gone.

25)  I have had 7 rounds of IUI, 3 rounds of IVF, and 3 miscarriages.

26)  Almost all the furniture we have bought from an actual store is from IKEA.

27)  I love antiques.  I can spend hours in an antique mall.  LOVE the hunt for a bargain.

28)  I painted nearly every surface in our first house.  It took about 3 years.

29)  My first vegetable garden was in my uncle’s backyard when I was about 13.

30)  I had my first job when I was 10 — helping my brother deliver newspapers.  He gypped me about $10 per week.  Eventually I forgave him.

31)  I did my own hair for my wedding.

32)  My favorite moments with my children are watching them with their dad.

33)  I love decorating magazines. (see #13)

34)  My favorite flowers are hydrangeas. (and my husband would probably not know this)

35)  I want to learn how to use a circular saw, table saw, chop saw … any power tool that will help me build furniture.  (see #26)

36)  If I could get away with it, I would eat cookies for breakfast every day.

37)  I’ve probably only read 5 novels in the last 5 years … but more than 500 blog posts.

38)  I love my family, my life, my present.

Thanks Mom, for enduring labor (even if it involved plenty of drugs) for the 6th time in order to give me this life, 38 years ago today.

Nothing Sweeter

Nothing reminds you why it is all worth like a kiss.

What the …?

This is a phrase I caught the 6-year-old saying a few weeks ago.  Not easy to explain that a naughty word typically comes after that and even just saying the beginning is tantamount to cursing.

But today I don’t know what else to say.  It is like the hounds of hell have been unleashed.  Mr. Plum is diving into a new developmental stage and it ain’t pretty.  And as a result, neither am I.  There is whining, there is crying, there is tantruming (is this a word? well if not, I don’t give a …).  And suddenly my easy-to-bed baby is spending an HOUR crying hysterically.  First just at bedtime and now for naps.  Okay, at naps it hasn’t been a entire hour, but g-d does it feel like it.  He’s up there screaming right now, you hear him, right?

Fortunately, Miss Peaches is sailing along.  Oh, except for when she is wrestling her brother over a toy and then biting him for taking it.  Oh, and the multiple night wakings.  Oh, and the emptying her sippy cup all over the place.  Did I mention the biting?  Yeah, sailing right along.

I suppose I’m due for this chaos.  For the past year I’ve heard people say “Twins! I don’t know how you do it!”  And I’ve shrugged and said “It’s really not that bad.”  Hmm.  And to top things off, I’ve actually got more help now.  A college sitter twice a week for a couple hours so I can run errands and such.  It is helping my sanity overall, but in this moment (you still here him screeching right?) I want to pull my hair out.

Even the weather is acting psychotic today.  Awake to flurries and a dusting of snow.  Sun arrives.  Snow is gone.  Bright and pleasant.  Sun departs.  Flurries return.  Grey.  Wait, sun peaks again.  Wind howls.  Then clouds again with more flurries.  Make up your mind, g-d dammit!

WAIT, there’s the sun again!  And it’s quiet.  Please g-d, let it stay that way.

… but I’m not counting on it.

New

Sorry I’ve been away so long.  We had a fairly lovely holiday season and like everyone, we’re working to get back in the groove of school and work and daily tasks.

Lately I’m feeling a bit like a cat in a box, ready to claw my was out.  The new beginning of a new year seems to only make me more cagey.  I’d like to embrace it and sing the joy of fresh starts and new leaves.  But of late I feel like I’m simply facing all the same old challenges, with little inspiration for new solutions.  I’ve managed to bury myself in worry and an inability to act.  The frigid weather with cabin fever isn’t helping much either.

One endeavor to try and break out of this box is my plan to tackle a 365 project (here), one photograph every day for the year.  This January weather hasn’t been so helpful, but I’m working on flexing some creative muscle … it just seems severely atrophied.  Since I’m not, nor ever will be, a runner — I guess this is my marathon.  But I’m a tackler by nature.  Dive into that disheveled closet and don’t stop until the entire thing is organized.  Start out scrubbing the floor and wind up wiping all the base boards and clean the windows.  Learning to be a chipper will be tough.  To chip away at a mountainous project like this and accept that every day will not be soul satisfying.

I’m not sure if it is the right word for me, but I think I’ve found one.  One approach to the new year, started by Ali Edwards, is to pick One little word for the year.  “Essentially the idea is to choose a word (or let it choose you) that has the potential to make an impact on your life.” So right now, I think the word I need is acceptance.  Acceptance of where I am, what I am doing, and what the near future holds.  Acceptance of my limitations, and of my ability to push past them when necessary.  Acceptance that each day, no matter how much laundry and dirty dishes it holds (over and over again), can also be filled with smiles, laughter, happiness.  Acceptance of who I am, and that there is still time to become someone new.

Acceptance isn’t an easy word.  But hey, why do easy, right?

Sparkle

We are celebrating the Festival of Lights.  It is a busy time, but everyone is happy.  The Snake got “the best gift ever” last night.  The fruit babies are enjoying new things too although they don’t quite understand the holiday.  The new house is still pretty spare looking, as we haven’t filled it up yet — but nevertheless, decorating for holidays is essential!  The snake and I decided some sparkle was definitely in order.

Ladybug, Ladybug fly away home

This was always one of my favorites as a kid:

So it was pretty neat yesterday, when the sun came out, ladybugs started swarming all over my house.  Not just 2 or 3, like 20 or 30 or 50.  They were everywhere.  All different types — bright red, pumpkin orange, lots of dots, or just a few.

Doesn’t legend say that it is good luck when a ladybug lands on you?  So why are both twins sick (or still sick) again?  Why was I up with one or the other all night long?  Why couldn’t I fall asleep during the one hour that they slept this morning?  What’s up with that?  Maybe you ladybugs better fly away home.