Sorry I’ve been away so long. We had a fairly lovely holiday season and like everyone, we’re working to get back in the groove of school and work and daily tasks.
Lately I’m feeling a bit like a cat in a box, ready to claw my was out. The new beginning of a new year seems to only make me more cagey. I’d like to embrace it and sing the joy of fresh starts and new leaves. But of late I feel like I’m simply facing all the same old challenges, with little inspiration for new solutions. I’ve managed to bury myself in worry and an inability to act. The frigid weather with cabin fever isn’t helping much either.
One endeavor to try and break out of this box is my plan to tackle a 365 project (here), one photograph every day for the year. This January weather hasn’t been so helpful, but I’m working on flexing some creative muscle … it just seems severely atrophied. Since I’m not, nor ever will be, a runner — I guess this is my marathon. But I’m a tackler by nature. Dive into that disheveled closet and don’t stop until the entire thing is organized. Start out scrubbing the floor and wind up wiping all the base boards and clean the windows. Learning to be a chipper will be tough. To chip away at a mountainous project like this and accept that every day will not be soul satisfying.
I’m not sure if it is the right word for me, but I think I’ve found one. One approach to the new year, started by Ali Edwards, is to pick One little word for the year. “Essentially the idea is to choose a word (or let it choose you) that has the potential to make an impact on your life.” So right now, I think the word I need is acceptance. Acceptance of where I am, what I am doing, and what the near future holds. Acceptance of my limitations, and of my ability to push past them when necessary. Acceptance that each day, no matter how much laundry and dirty dishes it holds (over and over again), can also be filled with smiles, laughter, happiness. Acceptance of who I am, and that there is still time to become someone new.
Acceptance isn’t an easy word. But hey, why do easy, right?