It was about this time, three years ago that I started blogging.  Originally it was all very anonymous, hidden from family and friends, while I was going through treatment for infertility.  It was a place to vent, rant, rave, and dump my frustrations in dealing with our quest to grow our family.  Then a host of upheavals occurred — the premature birth of our long-awaited twins, a cross-country move, health issues, a new job for my husband, you name it and it was changing.  And so this new blog was born, one where family and good friends were invited, along the with cherished friends from those first days of blogging.  And it was good.

Life in Eden has been about sharing news about our family and exploring the new challenges of parenthood (just little things like dealing with fighting twins, grumpy older siblings, managing three different personalities and needs — oh wait that should be FIVE different personalities and needs).  But it has also become about my search for a new identity.  A new sense of self.  Exploring my artistic side, but still embracing the scientist that I am.

And now I feel like things have become jumbled.  My oldest is getting older, our town is now smaller, and this space is no longer so private.  Like many “mommy bloggers” I’m feeling less comfortable sharing too many intimate details of his life.  Poopy jokes are always funny when you’re three, but everybody outgrows them to some extent.

So now with three years under my blogging belt, I’m not sure where I am headed.  Like my photography, I’m not sure I’ve found my style, my voice.  I find myself at a loss as to what to write about.  Do I want to focus solely on my photography?  But I would miss writing.  What should I write about?  Parenting?  Creativity?  The chaos that is my life?  I’d like to find a way to blend all these things.  But I’m beginning to wonder if I need a whole new place to do that.  Maybe it is time for a new blog to be born.

Our amazing twins turn 2-years-old this week.  So many things have changed.  They are so different, and so is our entire family, from that day they were born.  What does our future hold?  What will the next two years bring?

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4 Responses to Reminiscing

  1. Amy says:

    Amy, I’ve been thinking about many of the same things of late. In fact, I have a post half-written but I don’t know what the ending is. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the subject and making me feel less alone on the journey to find my own voice and purpose. Best wishes on yours.

  2. karen says:

    My two cents (of many) – just write. You are a deeply complex and interesting person who has so much to share – parenting, art, science. Blogging is one avenue of many to express yourself – except when it isn’t.

    From my screen, I’m always happy to read what you write because it’s you – not because of the topic. : )

  3. msplanner says:

    For me, the power of blogs was/is a way to share and connect. It is so helpful to know that others are going through the same things as you are. Often, other women (including you) do a much better job of articulating exactly what I am feeling.

    It is a lot about being open and honest, which is hard to do sometimes when family reads your blog. I know, because my parents read mine and I sometimes feel the need to self-edit. That being said, I stop reading blogs that are all sunshine and happy all the time. Seriously. People cannot be that Polly-Anna that much 🙂

    By the way, I love watching your personal evolution from the side lines. Grappling with motherhood and reconciling where your creative or professional self fits in is tough work.

  4. Cathy Carey says:

    I happened upon your old blog and followed you and the fruit babies cross country. You set up this blog as private so I was surprised to find a reference to it. Yes when every one else uses 1 word I use 17.

    I am totally, ecstaatically thrilled that the fruit toddlers are so incredibly adorable and almost ready for their second birthday. MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!

    Blessings on you and your entire family. May you all thrive and grow.

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