And the end of my month of gratitude. I could be snarky and say I’m grateful it is over, and that would be a little bit true. Mostly I’m disappointed, as I failed to take a photo every day, and more importantly struggled to feel truly grateful everyday. We were hit pretty hard with a batch of illnesses, then had family visiting for the holiday, and my dedication just disappeared.
After abandoning my 365 photos a day project last year, and struggling with a self-portrait project, I really had hoped this simple one would be do-able. And it should have been. Lately I find it most difficult to decide when to practice self-kindness and when I need to get myself motivated. How do you decide? When is it okay to say life is kicking my butt and when do I say I need a kick in the butt? I want to set goals and achieve them, but I also have to acknowledge that my priority at the moment is caregiver. Yet to be a better caregiver, I need to feel fulfilled. Sometimes it feels like is vicious vortex.
So, today I will resolve … something. To try being grateful more often, to savor those everyday moments, and document them for myself when I’m moved to do so. To keep chipping away at my goals, to set flexible deadlines. To accept my current situation, and the impermanence of those constraints.
Oh, and I hope you all had a lovely holiday, and Happy Birthday to my Mom!